Dear Jesus: A break-up letter

Dear Jesus,

Its been a while since you and I had a talk. The conversations were always a bit one sided, so I thought this time I would write you a letter and let you know how things have been.

As you have probably heard by now, I've become an Atheist.

It all started about seven years ago when I began to have doubts about our relationship. I just wasn't convinced that any of what I was taught to believe about you was true anymore.

For a long time, I tried holding onto my faith but as I grew hungry for more and more knowledge I just kept finding less and less reasons to believe in you.

One thing that I've been meaning to ask you, is why you let my Grandmother die of cancer. She loved you, and no matter how much she prayed, you just sat by and let her body destroy itself. She died alone in her chair with a Bible clinging to her hope in you, but you never helped her.

All those miracles in the Bible and all the Christian teachings about the power of God and you let one of your most faithful servants die of a disease you supposedly have the power to cure.  Unlike what most of your followers say, your ways don't seem that mysterious to me; they seem downright cruel.

I suppose you were testing her faith like Job. I would like to think she is reaping her reward in heaven, but I know better now.

As if that wasn't enough, a few years later you let my wife's mother die of cancer right when she was about to retire and enjoy the twilight of her life. She was a kind and loving person, yet none of that mattered as your will saw fit for her to suffer and die while she suffocated to death, as the cancerous fluid filled her lungs.

She believed in you, too, but apparently not enough to let her stick around and enjoy her grandkids.

Not long after that, you “called home” my other grandmother by granting her the same fate as your other beloved daughters and let the cancer have her as well. A beautiful life ended by your “intelligent design” ...or was it just indifference?

Now I could understand if you were busy solving world hunger or trying to stop all the wars, but I turned on the T.V. to see that you would rather help someone win American Idol. I hear you even helped my neighbor find her keys.

I know its not my place to question you, well, at least that's how I was raised, but it seems as though this whole game of life is rigged. If any of the people I had lost somehow survived after the doctors treated them you would have gotten the credit. Somehow, though, you still got the credit for letting them die. After all, its your plan...who are we to question?

It seems as though you get your credit no matter the turnout. Its all just a part of a plan I can't begin to understand.

You might think I am bitter about all this, but really I'm just fine. You see, I finally saw through your game and stopped playing by your rules.

I know you say you died for my sins, but I never asked you to do that. I never even asked to be born into sin, for that matter. I was just a child when your teachings were given to me by my parents telling me that I was a worthless sinner in need of your forgiveness.

To be perfectly honest, I was a bit confused about this whole situation. I mean, I was just a kid after all, and I couldn't imagine what I could have done to make people torture and crucify you, but I was told that you were put up on that cross because of me.

Along the way, as I was growing up I did have questions and doubts, but thanks to that wonderful childhood indoctrination I plowed right them with faith, because, after all, I wouldn't want you to be disappointed in me like you were in that guy named Thomas.

I'm sure this letter would be easier if I could just go back to those days and ignore all the knowledge I've gained and replace my doubts and questions with faith, but while your teachings do have some great lessons, a lot of things in that book of yours just don't add up.

Don't worry. I'm not mad. I realize that you were just a man, like me, who had some ideas and spoke his mind. You really do seem like a nice person and I appreciate the thought, but I won't be needing your forgiveness anymore.

I have kids of my own now. I am teaching them that they are beautiful just the way they are. They will have no guilt complexes over their sinful nature. They will not be told they are innately evil. They will grow up without being told not to question you. I will teach them to challenge everything and explore every possibility.

I hope this letter makes it clear that even though we had some great times, I just don't think you and I are working out.

I wish you the best of luck helping someone's favorite football team win the super bowl this year.

Sincerely,

Tim